I fucking love classic rock. I don’t care how you feel about it, I even loved it before it was classic! Not so much the same songs you hear over and over again on the classic rock stations. (although those are fucking awesome too!) but the whole genre. From the incredible opening of “Slowride” by Foghat to the lesser known gems like “Never Been Any Reason” by Head East, from heart felt ballads like “Beth” by Kiss to power rock anthems like “Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Did you know that it’s not really called “Teenage Wasteland”? The real title is “Baba O’Riley”, and the fact that I know the actual title should tell you something about the level of knowledge and commitment I have to rock and roll. You are not dealing with some amateur here! In fact, if I’m not mistaken, I think Baba O’Riley is the name of Pete Townshend’s Irish opium dealer from the 70’s.
I will never stop listening to classic rock! If you can’t handle that, you can just suck it! Classic rock is the soundtrack of my life, and if it seems like that soundtrack has been skipping a lot like the needle in a record (a fucking classic rock record!) then so be it! You’re not gonna change me. I will listen to classic rock until the day I die.
I know some people are thinking that my parents felt the same way about their music and I’m just as lame as I thought they were for clinging to their “oldies” from their youth. Well, this is completely different. My parents still listen to songs from the 50’s and 60’s, where as I listen to songs from the 70’s and 80’s! I mean, come on, my parents are like 20 years older than I am! Plus, I even like some bands from the early 90’s, so I’m nothing like my parents!
Unlike my parents, I also like new music. My musical tastes grow and change, and I’m open to new music and ideas. Take Van Halen, for instance. I liked the original line-up with David Lee Roth, and I liked them with Sammy Hagar. I also like them now with David Lee Roth back in the band again. If that’s not diversity, I’d like to know what is!
Not that fucking rap and hip hop garbage, or electronic music, or the manufactured, auto-tuned teeny-bopper crap out there today. I’m talking about real music, put out by classic rock bands to this day. That’s right, yesterdays classic rock bands are putting out exciting new music even now, showing how relevant they are. Besides Van Halen getting back with Dave, Aerosmith and Kiss have new albums out recently. These albums are amazing because (and this is totally awesome and should end the accusations that these bands are just regurgitating the same old ideas over and over once and for all) they went back and got their old producers or recorded analog or specifically wrote songs so the albums sound just like the bands early albums! That’s right, these bands have grown and progressed so much musically that they can effortlessly recapture their kick-ass sound and material that made them classic rock superstars in the first place! Fuckin’ A right! Did you know that the new Van Halen album is mostly made of songs from unused demos from the bands early days! Now that is new and exciting!
I know some people also say Kiss is getting a little old, and that Gene Simmons has become a joke, an old Jewish guy playing bass dressed like a demon. Who cares what those people say. Gene still rocks! I can picture the wild scene backstage, kvetching about putting on that fakakta make-up and schlepping around the country on tour! Asking if someone messed with the thermostat because it’s cold in here! Angry because he specifically asked for split pea soup in their rider! That’s rock and roll baby!
Say what you want about classic rock, it’s way better than the garbage my kids listen to these days. Do you see the way kids dress today? Listening to rap with their pants hanging down! They look like idiots! I can look back fondly at my youth, listening to heavy metal and wearing bandanas and spandex. Now that was cool! My long hair full of hairspray, my awesome boots, my countless band patches and pins on my denim jacket … and my kids actually laugh at old pictures of me. They have no taste nowadays!
Let them laugh. I know the truth and I know years from now classic rock will still be popular and no one will remember all this rap and Britney Spears nonsense! I’ll tell you what is strange though. The other day on the oldies station I heard a couple of classic rock songs. Somebody screwed up big time! Could you imagine, confusing classic rock songs from the 70’s with oldies! I sure hope that DJ got in trouble.
© David Ferraris 2012